Superstars on Space Mountain

Sorry, this post is not about celebrity spotting on Space Mountain in Disneyland.  It's very similar; but remarkably different as well.  In this instance, Space Mountain refers to Mount Stromlo in Canberra, and the stars refer to those twinkly, twinkly little things in the night sky. 

So a few nights ago I went star trekking up Space Mountain to attend a lecture on the twinkly little things, presented by one of the vastly intelligent peeps who work at the Mount Stromlo Observatory.  The Canberra Astronomy Society (CAS) run monthly presentations on various astronomy-type topics presented by various scientist types, in conjunction with their general meetings. 

I attended my first one last month on entropy, which I found thoroughly confusing, yet extremely fascinating.  Considering I'm not much of a first responder in a physics-type emergency, and considering the ins and outs of basic entropy did my head in for a couple of weeks, I bravely decided to travel up the mountain again.


A red dwarf



I feel like a grand fraud going to these talks. As if someone is going to notice and yell out, "she's only got an IQ of 17! Send her to the telescopes - off with her head!" But I can play along.  After the talk, when questions were asked of the presenter, I turned my head to the questioner, nodding and smiling in agreement, with one finger pointedly tapping my chin.

As it turns out, stars are far less confusing than entropy.  Once upon a time, about 14 billion years ago, there was a big bang, and everything went poof and there was craziness all over the universe (which may or may not be a very loose description of entropy).  Planets and stars and galaxies and other cool outer space stuff were causing a big brouhaha.  Now, I can't remember exactly how stars are formed, but they are mainly made up of hydrogen, and helium and a bunch of heavy metals.

Stars spend most of their life - or their main sequence - fusing hydrogen.  I don't remember why, but it sounds like quite a productive way to while away a couple of billion years.  It sure as hell beats working in the public sector.  This nuclear fusion is constantly pushing out, but gravity constantly pushes everything in.  So just like people really; except replace nuclear fusion with KFC.  Although, our gravity doesn't always work so well.  Perhaps we could replace hamburgers with nuclear fusion and end the so-called obesity epidemic. 

In their twilight years, usually when they are even older than Queen Elizabeth II, stars exhaust their supply of hydrogen and become red giants (sometimes) and start making iron, which sounds an awful lot like the biography of Donald Trump.  Apparently one teaspoon of red drawf can be as heavy as 10 billion tonnes, or something equally as weighty.  You would certainly need some strong and sturdy cutlery before you even think about venturing out there.  There are also white dwarfs, black dwarfs and many other colourful dwarfs in the great multicultural universe.   

Disclaimer: Astute observers and smart five-year-olds may have noticed, through various subtle references in my description of stars, that I have absolutely no idea of what I am talking about.  Which is a valid point, I imagine.  What do you expect - do I look like a friggin' scientist?  If you want to know more about stars, or be less confused, go read Wikipedia.

Entropy and my physics-induced migraine

Last week I attended a special meeting of the Canberra Astronomical Society (CAS).  The meeting was called to vote on whether the society would amend their Constitution so family members would be treated as separate entities, rather than as a block membership, or something.

This resolution came about because of the loopy behaviour of one psychotic member, who can’t be thrown out of the society under the current Constitution, because her membership is linked to her equally odd former astronomer boyfriend. They are not family, but they joined the society together, or something. It’s very confusing, but the point is the society is trying to pass a vote that will allow a vote to get rid of this narcissistic, histrionic personality disorder-addled woman.

Angela, as I shall refer to her because that's her name, has been causing problems for a long time. Like sending offensive and abusive email rants, and, lately, physically abusing other members and tossing around personal threats. So this special meeting was called so the society can move on from this episode and get back to doing what they do best; that being astronomising.

My mother, a long-time society member and Secretary, puts me down as a member every year, despite the fact that I have never registered any particular interest in astronomy, stars, planets or galaxies. I’m not disinterested, but I’m also not a hard-core fan of the science. Science, in fact, is something that escapes me for the most part, probably because I’m not smart enough to understand the ins and outs of entropy, for example; the second law of thermodynamics. If I was honest, I think it is quite interesting, but I will leave it to brilliant scientists to get all excited about it.

One of these brilliant scientists, Dr Charley Lineweaver, was the guest speaker for the meeting. Considering I only showed up in anticipation of seeing crazy lady and her crazy antics for the first time, I was a bit wary of having to sit through an hour long science presentation without accidently falling asleep. As it turns out, Dr Lineweaver is not only a ridiculously intelligent astrobiologist; he is also brilliant at working a room.  In the Leonard Hofstadter self-depreciating way, not the Sheldon Cooper irony deficient way.

Physics translator -
Dr Charley Lineweaver

His energy and passion for science made the lecture fascinating and thoroughly entertaining. It was like an hour long episode of The Big Bang Theory. I actually followed about 70% of his talk; the biological references in particular were totally up my alley.  The other 30% I found completely incomprehensible, or replete with confusing scientist jokes, that I pretended to understand and then whole-heartedly laughed along with the crowd.  Hey, don't judge.

And thanks to my stern concentration in trying to get my ahead around the impossible (physics and I are generally not allowed in the same room together), my brain decided it hated me, and I ended up with a 30-hour physics-induced migraine.  So that was tops.  I had reached maximum entropy.  My very own heat death, if you will.  Or something.  So I am now armed with a comprehensive understanding of entropy.  When I say comprehensive, I mean very loose.  

Anyway, the night was a success, and the room passed the vote by 77%, so the Constitution can now be amended. CAS utilised the services of a mediator from the ACT court system to run the poll, so Angela cannot come back with her crazy rants that it is all unfair and rigged, and I believe there were security personnel in the room in case things (crazy lady) got out of control. I promise you I am not making any of this up.  As it turns out, Angela just sat there all psycho-style; acerbic look, eyes glaring, arms crossed.  She's four-foot nothing but quite terrifying.  Hopefully she will now find something new to obsess about.