Grounded tigers, axed newspapers, rocket ships for sale

Please put up your hand if you have any actual certified training to fly an aeroplane. Games arcades do not count as credible training programs. Neither does any previous experience working for Tiger Airways.

Poor Tiger was clipped over the wings last week by the Civil Aviation Safety Authority (CASA), the body that oversees all things that fly in a civil fashion in Australian skies (except birds obviously), when CASA demanded DEMANDED! that Tiger ground all their planes.

CASA were a little miffed when they discovered that Tiger pilots do not really know how to fly planes properly. Which is actually kind of funny. Honestly, how can any airline possibly live up to CASAs safety standards?  That Flight Centre pilot is probably shaking in his boots because I don't think he even has a cardboard licence.

I wonder if the pilot of that French airliner that spun the other midget plane at JFK airport in New York earlier this year has ever worked for Tiger. Actually, it is just so typical of the French to barge through oncoming traffic and smack right into another plane that just happens to be sitting in their way. Didn’t even stop to exchange insurance information, which the pilot would have probably just pulled out of a ham and cheese baguette in lieu of a cereal packet.

Speaking of people who cannot do their jobs in a manner that is not, you know, legal in the eyes of the law...

The staff left standing at the News of the World who were not involved in the phone hacks of the world scandal are complaining that their employer's key headline-chasing workplace guideline, that being tampering and sticking one's nose into the personal phone records of people in the news, has made them lose all credibility.

Well, I’m not sure they BEGAN with any credibility; such was their choice to work for a newspaper that contains page three girls, and thinks important breaking news is covering the sex romps of English footballers. Perhaps these journalists (italicised for the purposes of sarcasm) could have fixed their credibility issue by working for a CREDIBLE newspaper.  Actually, probably not.  Maybe if they left the media industry altogether things would perk up for them.

Speaking of things being grounded and axed, NASAs Atlantis shuttle took off this week for the U.S. space program's final flight, after the Obama Messiah thought it a good idea to wrap-up one of the few good things to have come out of the United States.

All those young kids (who aren’t stoned) who stare at the night sky for hours, with dreams of being an astronaut, will just have to get a boring government job like the rest of us. Alternatively, they could get a gig at Tiger Airways.

Watching the take-off yesterday, it occurred to me that I didn’t know how space shuttles come back down to earth.  Well I imagined they didn't just hit the brakes at that speed because they’d likely burn up into oblivion on re-entry. So I ventured out into the great outer space of Wikipedia to suss it out:

The vehicle re-enters the atmosphere by firing the Orbital maneuvering system engines, while flying upside down, backside first, in the opposite direction to orbital motion for approximately three minutes, which reduces the shuttle's velocity by about 200 mph (322 km/h)... the shuttle then flips over, by pushing its nose down (which is actually "up" relative to the Earth, because it is flying upside down).

The vehicle then performs a series of four steep S-shaped banking turns, each lasting several minutes... in this way it dissipates speed sideways rather than upwards. This occurs during the 'hottest' phase of re-entry, when the heat-shield glows red and the G-forces are at their highest. By the end of the last turn, the transition to aircraft is almost complete. The vehicle levels its wings, lowers its nose into a shallow dive and begins its approach to the landing site.

That is friggin’ mad!  But I bet they can't parallel park.

Current affairs ADHD

What do you get when you cross Westminster Abbey, Bieber's six flying eggs and a bunch of Navy SEALs? Current affairs ADHD, that’s what. In the past week, the media have had me hooked on their inane sensationalistic news cycle; that being the royal wedding brouhaha, Justin Bieber's right royal egging, and the death of a loathed serial killer.

First there was P-Willy and Kate. Enough said. But also Harry, and Chelsea, and Kate's mum and dad, and the yellow Q, and Fergie's two wicked witches, and Bea's head decoration, and Pippa's bum, and Tara's nose, and Q's snub of Camilla, and the homeless-looking bishop, and Beck's OBE, and Posh's hair, shoes, garbage bag dress, baby bump, lack of baby bump, forehead hat, face, nose, mouth, eye makeup, pouting, smiling, frowning, pouting, etc etc, and the various media-created afflictions and bad wedding attire decisions of other random aristocrats and lowly-ranked celebrities I've never heard of.  Thank heavens the Navy SEALs struck bin Laden when they did or we'd still be putting up with the media's angst over the madhatter's man-made disasters.  

Bin Laden's days of hooning around the streets of Pakistan on the back of an ox and lapping it up in the glamourous mountains and cavernous rabbit warrens of the renowned tourist mecca of Afghanistan came to a dramatic end on the weekend when he was killed by a bunch of Navy SEALs.  It's always best for this type of military operation to remain covert, if for no other reason that whenever civilians (see: the media) get involved they always RUIN EVERYTHING.  Remember when the international media compromised Prince Harry's security in Afghanistan?  Dumb as dog shit.

Plus, the U.S. TV stations would have tried to get in on the action - 20 everyday Americans compete for the chance to blow out the brains of a terrorist...  Yes, that's a little uncalled for - but so was Bali, New York, London and about 500 other attacks he scripted.  True to form, bin Laden's last moments in his quasi-luxurious, cowdung loveshack involved grabbing one of his wives to shield him from the inevitable bullet in the head. Oh well, he's dead now. 

Trust the Pakistanis to be housing mass serial killers.  No surprises there.  Pakistan has been the heart of modern terrorism ever since bin Laden rolled into town.  But there's no time to rest, there are plenty more exploding fruitloops in bin Laden's neck of the woods.  So get to it America.  And it would be tops if you could please put the next one on YouTube.   

What's to say about the itty bitty Biebernator?  He performed his bouncy little routine in Australia the other night and someone egged him.  The next night he brought the "hero" bully-fighter (whose attack on his tormenter last month went viral) onto the stage to yell out a few words of youthful inspirational - that being his famous (apparently) tagline NEVER SAY NEVER! - to the terrifiyingly enthusiastic Bieber teenyboppers.  I would have preferred the Biebs to moonwalk out to the stage and tell the audience about his money, fame and bright future, and how they would never ever come close to such good fortune.  NEVER EVER EVER!!!!

Media should name names

The Australian Defence Force Academy (ADFA) says that it is 'more than just a university'.  Oh, ain't that the truth.  That's ADFA as in the Defence military kindergarten, not the Australian Dried Fruits Association.  But I'm sure they'd understand if you got the two confused.

The Australian Defence Forces (ADF) are really good at defending us; which is useful, because my only expectation of them is to ensure we don’t turn into a country that is anyway different to how it is now. I want them to fight wars in foreign lands, rather than wait until the enemy rocks up here. I want them to stop the bad people among the legitimate refugees from traipsing illegally onto our shores from god knows where, and I want them to kick the arse of any terrorist who plans to obliterate us from the inside. And as far as defending all things Australian, I think they are doing a tops job.

I am very comfortable and confident that the ADF know how to handle any shituation that involves war, intelligence, national security, machine guns, bad people and other defence type matters. That said, I have no confidence whatsoever that they can handle incidents involving women.

The latest Defence scandal involves an 18-year-old student at the Australian Defence Force Academy (ADFA).  The girl, known as Kate, went to the media after the Defence head honchos allegedly ignored her complaint that she had unknowlingly been filmed with a webcam while having sex with another student, while another six male students watched in another room.  Yes, Kate broke the rules by fraternising with the opposite sex, which is banned at the academy.  But that's not the key issue.

How naïve of the Defence heads to believe that dismissing this complaint would be the end of the matter.  What the hell is wrong with these men?  They need to stick to playing with their guns and tanks and not involve themselves in negotiations with any members of the opposite sex, ever.  Because it always seems to turn out badly.  And now a former naval officer has come out, claiming she was raped in her sleep by a fellow officer, and I hope many more people come forward, as difficult as that may be for them.  The ADF has had this coming for a very long time. 

And then we have the media.  Whenever something controversial is going on, particularly when it involves a government department, you can bet your bottom dollar that a journalist will be censored by their news organisation if they upset the applecart. In this case, the requirement is to not upset the highest echelons of the Defence Department, in fear of losing key contacts, and thus the journalist will end up covering trade fairs and dog shows, rather than getting any big scoops from key sources inside the government.

So the while the media whinge endlessly about their impartiality, and how it’s their sole purpose to expose the truth and keep the public informed, in reality, it’s a lot muddier than that. The media and government exist in a complex symbiotic relationship. It’s a two-way mechanism – needing each other, but also needing to keep the other at arm's length. You think it’s just as simple as writing a story and exposing the truth? Get real. We only get a sanitised version of the truth; a version that generally won’t result in any of the top brass going out to pasture on a controversial note.

But doesn’t the public have a right to know who's raping women in the armed forces? Sure we do, but we aren’t going to get the whole truth. The media always claim they protect the identities of bad people because of defamation laws, but I want to know why, even after court proceedings, the media does not, or is not allowed to, name names? Isn’t this hypocritical, given they claim their role is to inform the public?

And I think it would be pretty easy to identify who put it on Skype.  Surely the public is entitled to demand that the media expose the truth.  Expose the jackass who raped (it might be under ACT law) Kate, the others who watched on Skype, and the top brass, and/or government members who decided to cover it up.

Protect the source (Kate), but expose the predators. I don't want the identity of these men protected. I want their faces on the front of all national newspapers, so they can deal with the fallout. Surely the Defence Department would think again about their leniency in cracking down on rapists if there was even the possibility that the faces of these dropkicks would go viral.

Any excuse that is rolled out in defence of protecting their identity is based on an outcome I'd be happy to see - like they won't get work anywhere (cry me a river), or they'll be rejected by women (sounds like a community service to me), or the top brass have had a honourable career (they did, until now).  I don't care what happens to these people, I just want them exposed for who they are.  I really, really would like to see them exposed for who they are.

And let's be clear; the media do not give a stuff about protecting identities of people like Kate; all they care about is ratings and circulation figures, and you only get these through big stories, which you only get by retaining the rapport with the higher echelons in government departments and other business and industry leaders. They sure as shit do not care about protecting society, specifically ADFA women, from men who rape.

These ADFA guys are a small bunch of really rotten eggs among the good eggs in the defence forces. I think we should ship the rotten ones off to the hot spots right now - no training, no guns, no armour, no chance in hell of getting out of there. Perhaps the Defence Department needs a female Pal Sec to act as Defence Women's Relations Liaison, or something to that effect. We could get an outrageously annoying feminist in the role and watch the boys squirm.  Germaine 'name and shame rapists' Greer comes immediately to mind for some reason.  No-one can emasculate quite like Germaine.

McBogans

Ah, Today Tonight. What would we do without you? We’d probably get along just fine, and be a far less litigious society, and have far less cashed-up bogans, and no-one would notice you were gone.   Anyway, TT ran a story tonight on parents who take their children on family shopping adventures. What? So why is that TT-worthy? 

Well, aside from the fact that TT is completely ridiculous at the best of times, this story was about a type of shopping adventure that you engage in without any exchange of cash taking place. No, no credit cards either. Don’t need credit cards. It’s more of a five-fingered discount type of family outing. For arguments sake, let’s call it bogan shopping. Because bogans think shopping the traditional, old-fashioned way of trading cash for goods kinda McSucks.

But who can blame the bogans.  When the parole officer told Tracee-Lee that she should spend more quality time with her offspring, Chardonaay-Jaiymee, she probably meant do something that wasn't illegal.  But how can Tracee-Lee have possibly be expected to know that?  Those parole officers really need to be more SPECIFIC. “Quality time with your family” for convicted criminals means taking your offspring with you when you steal a three-pack of skivvies from Best and Less / hold up an IGA.

And then the journalist (that's italicised for the purpose of sarcasm), spoke to the security manager of one electronics outlet. Surely, if they have footage of a bogan lady walking out with a blue ray DVD player and surround sound system they should have caught her. How do these people get the guts to walk out with a pile of hot goods anyway? That’s confidence.

And what were the security personnel doing when the stock was walking out the door in the hands of bogan trash? Probably eating one of McDonald’s new Pounder burgers.  Rather than securing things, they were probably stuffing their faces with 50,000 calories of fluorescent cheese and a curious meat-looking product on a sesame seed bun-looking product.  Maximum taste, minimum wage. Sheesh, it's like putting Hamburglar in charge of the security department.

I really hate segways on commercial television. Why do they have to announce that they have just made a fabulous segway into the next story? It was stupid even before they decided to point it out.  Anywho, speaking of McDonalds...

TT also reported that McDonalds are denying they have a burger called the Pounder, even though they do in fact have a new burger called the Pounder.  Instead of dealing with the fallout of having a burger on your menu with a calorie count that would feed a third world country, and further bloat the waistlines of people who seem incapable of driving anywhere expect fast food outlets, the McDonald’s PR simply denied its existence.

Despite the fact the TT man (I can’t bring myself to call him a journalist again) had just gone into McDonalds and bought a Pounder.  Genius damage control. I like it. I stand behind it. Bill Clinton also famously got away with it with the skanky McIntern using this little tactic.  Well, got away with it in the sense that most lefties still think the sun shines out of his McArse.

Apple - the technology and the fruit

How much is that apple in the window? We all know that there is muchos overpricing of technology and fruit in the retail sector.  Australian fruitgrowers are battling floodwaters, but what’s Gerry Harvey from Harvey Norman's excuse?

Harvey, head of the Harvey Norman retail chain, has been blithering over the past few days (years) about the indecency of Australian shoppers who are choosing to desert his overpriced retail outlets in droves to shop online for products that are often a third of his asking price.

The Canberra Times reports that Gerry Harvey has made a sanctimonious emotional plea in an attempt to hoodwink the public – as usual – into thinking that he’s just a retailer trying to make a living. Harvey is upset that 17-year-old’s are calling him most unflattering names. Yes, the teenage mutant's are angry, but many of them don’t have the emotional maturity to get their message across in a way that doesn’t sound crude.

My question is this: why the hell is the head of a billion dollar mega-empire spending his time reading comments about himself on Facebook and Twitter? Well, he’s probably not, and he doesn’t really give two hoots.

Nobody is coming into Harvey’s chain anymore because the consumer has realised that it’s just plain uneconomical to do so. He seems to be constantly baffled by the news that the majority of Australians think he’s being ripping them off for years. That this is news to Harvey demonstrates how out of touch he is with the retail sector and consumer demands.

The game is up Gerry. Whether you like it or not, consumers have oodles of choice now, and we choose to abandon your outlets, for the most part, and browse the global online supermarket; a bandwagon that you should have jumped on years ago. Wonder if he still thinks online selling is a waste of time.

Rather than come out and apologise for his embarrassing outbursts, Harvey chose to make the situation about himself, to garner public sympathy, and to distract us from the fact that he’s going to continue to trade as per usual, which is years behind the retail trend.

The finished product

Not especially happy with it.  I conducted my interview two days before the assignment was due, which wasn't very smart in hindsight.  Indeed, not much time, but all I really needed to do was a bit of editing and cutting and pasting. However, for the second time this week, I experienced equipment malfunction. This time it was the microphone, and I didn’t realise the problem until after the interview, which was mighty helpful.

I spent a good few hours playing around with Audacity, trying to bring up the sound through manipulating (ie amplifying) the recording. It’s not my best effort by a long shot, but it's done now.

Getting talent / the pressures of student journalism

Getting talent

I started my talent search earlier than I did for the first interview; however I am further behind now than I was last time at this point. A few weeks ago I emailed the ACT Police with a request for an interview on youth crime and the importance of the home environment . They returned my email saying they were not able to comment on the precursors of youth crime, but suggested I try youth justice organisations or the Australian Institute of Criminology (AIC). I emailed the AIC and they told me they focus exclusively on national research, and the best people to talk to would be the ACT Police. And round and round we go.

The pressures of journalism

I am starting to understand why some journalists are heavy drinkers! One week to go until the last assessment of BJ1 is due and my interview fell through. The talent didn’t pull out, I didn’t pull out, the edirol pulled out!! Well, it didn’t work, at any rate. Whenever I pick up an edirol from the university, I always sit in my car and double check that it works. Just in case. Today I needed to rush back to work, so I figured it would be okay because it's always okay. Well, it wasn’t okay today! The side dial was not working. Half an hour before my interview I noticed this malfunction, and contacted the talent to rearrange another time, which fortunately he agreed to.

A POSTSCRIPT:

Have now figured out the side dial on the edirol is not vital in this instance because it is set up correctly by the previous student who borrowed it. Darn it! Now I have to return this edirol on Tuesday, go back to uni on Wednesday morning to get another one, do my interview on Wednesday night, then return the edirol on Thursday morning. Oh, this is very tedious trying to get away from work during the day.

Have I started yet? Have I started yet? No

So far, I am doing okay in BJ1. Which is remarkable, given my lack of confidence in broadcast journalism. I love the writing process of journalism, but not the interviewing part, and definitely not the "perform live" part. Just my personality I guess. But I digress.

In my time-honoured tradition, I have not started researching for assessment 3. In my first assessment, I spoke to the ACT Scouts Arts Convener, who told me a new Arts Centre is slated to open in the Tuggeranong Valley in the next few months. It is designed to encourage young people to learn new skills in a safe environment, presumably where they will stay out of trouble. The Scouts are a great organisation, but I can't help thinking it's nothing but a bandaid solution.

For me, the obvious other side of the debate is talking to the other people who are trying to stop the youth crime wave, like the police. Although I could speak to local community groups or businesses who have been victims and are powerless to stop the problem. Data from the Bureau of Statistics show that youth crime in Canberra is high. So ultimately, I need to talk to someone who admits there is a big problem, and they don't know what to do about it.

The finished Product

This assignment has caused me alot of stress! There are just too many things that can go wrong. But I've learnt a few things that I will take to the next assignment. The list is by no means exhaustive:

* plug the mircophone into the correct socket of the Edirol.
* Arrange an interview MUCH EARLIER.
* Have 1 or 2 back-up interviews in place for when the first one inevitably pulls out, or changes the interview time at the last minute etc.
* I sound like I'm trying to hard when I try to hard - just try and relax when taping.
* Make sure I tee up an Edirol when I actually have an interview in place.

My main problem is that I didn't give myself enough time. I can easily blame fulltime work, but really it is about my lack of time management, in this case.

I'm not overly excited with the finished product, but I've learnt that I need to give myself more time to dig for a good story and edit the final product.

My voice

Of most benefit were the breathing exercises, although I dislike my voice at the best of times. It sounds deep and monotone, and I really can’t stand hearing it, to be honest. Fortunately, I have no plans to unleash my voice onto the general public as a radio newsperson. It's probably best for everyone.

The talent, Audacity

Getting the talent

One week before my assessment 2 radio interview is due for completion, and I decide to change my story. Well, not so much as a change of mind; more a case of a better story with a stronger news angle coming along.

A few weeks earlier I had tried unsuccessfully to contact a man from the ACT Scouts who was opening a new Arts facility for young people in the Tuggeranong Valley. I had heard about it through a church group. Days before my other interview was due to take place, the man from Scouts contacted me to say he was happy to talk to me about the facility.

Figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics show that Canberra has a young population, and it also has the highest rate of youth crime in Australia, so a new community arts facility for young people run by the ACT Scouts seemed like a good path to a newsworthy story.

The Interview

The interview was quite stressful and uncomfortable for me, even though I kept saying to myself just do the best you can; we’ll, the best I can do with zero experience in broadcast journalism! I learnt that it is hard to maintain your composure and dignity when you are obsessively checking your equipment for malfunction; when you are trying intently to listen to the answers so you can ask an intelligent and probing question in your umm and ahh free “radio voice”; when you are trying to emphasise key words, but end up sounding like a kid whose voice has just broken.

That same night, I watched Tracey Grimshaw conduct a difficult and confronting interview on A Current Affair and discovered a new appreciation for live interview broadcasting.

Editing

As far as uni assessments go, I am quite enjoying the process of editing my radio interview. Although, I started to cull pauses and umms and ahhs without realising they provide important context in various parts of the interview. My talent may have been pausing for a reason, I thought to myself. I imagine it can become a bit like botox – once you start primping and culling and cropping, you can’t stop until it is completely unrecognisable from the original product. So I started again…

NB: Very happy that I can use Audacity from the comfort of my own laptop.

Pre-interview concerns - of which there are many

Pre-interview concerns - with Edirol, the editing process, and with the technology in general!

The technology

I'm more of a print media kind of girl, but I'm quite enjoying radio journalism. But the technology in BJ1 has me all stressed out. I've never been much of a first responder in an IT emergency. I mostly learn what I need to know through an exhaustive stressful process, particularly for the poor sucker who has to explain it to me. My laptop and I get along for the most part, even though we speak different languages and have diverse views on the meaning of ‘logic’ and ‘practical’.

Edirol

As a general rule, I know that any piece of technology that comes with two pages of instructions is going to give me a headache. However, I find the edirols fairly easy to negotiate. I haven’t interviewed my talent yet, but am playing around with my voice on the edirol so I can look/sound a little bit accomplished when I’m in the hot seat. For example, practicing cutting out the umms and aghs and, in my naivety, trying to sound like an ABC reporter. Then, I download onto Audacity and I can’t understand how to manipulate it! If only we had to do a high-pitched, quick tempo interview in reverse English, then I’d be fine. Note to self: Must develop the voice box of Elmer Fudd so no-one will be the wiser…

The editing process

Resistance is futile, but so enticing. As is throwing my computer out the window. I have never been so frustrated with information technology as I have become today. How is this Audacity audio equipment so technical and complicated? Any why can’t I be of the Y Generation and/or a computer passionista to figure it out? I desperately need an instruction booklet, or a USEFUL help manual, other than that American ‘Audacity Guy’, who I found through Google. He is of no help. I need practical help, like “if you need to do this, you should perhaps use this tool, or this tool”. I want to be able to edit my radio interview to within an inch of perfection (pending my hideous radio voice) but I don’t know how to! I will need to contact the audio guys at UC on Monday. They know stuff.

Researching for Assign No. 2

Researching my topic for assignment 2 – what have I learnt?

I was going to do a story on a new soup kitchen starting up in Kambah. Then I thought about the lack of car parking in the Woden Town Centre. Then I happened upon a roller skater from the Canberra Roller Derby League (CRDL). As with many good stories you come across, I found out about the CRDL via a conversation in the kitchen at work. I tossed around a couple of news angles. CRDL have a bout coming up; a new report released says the overall cost to the taxpayer to manage obesity is $5 billion a year. That’s $5 billion. What better way to get fit and stay lean that roller skating round a rink? Surely you’d be too terrified of being pushed to the ground to worry about whether you’ve burnt off enough calories?

I became intrigued about the punk-style, third wave feminism take on the 60s craze that is roller derby, with its alliterations to pop culture and the double entendre stage names that are used by its competitors. Is this a sport or is this sports entertainment? Do we have Jerry Springer type entertainment on our hands? The roller derby has taken off in the States again; with all-women, self managed leagues cropping up all over the place. And if attendance figures at the previous two bouts in Canberra are any indication, it will be taking Canberra by storm. So what has happened to nice quiet Canberra with its Brumby-loving football fans? I decided to delve into the world to find out, through an interviewer with Bullseye Betty, President of the CRDL.

Baby e-steps

This is practically my first blog ever.  I have become a blogger because I have to. Which is good. I think. In order to complete my Jounalism Major, I am required to create a 'reflective blog' as part of my assessment for the unit of Broadcast Journalism. And so I will reflect, and then reflect some more... Although, I must admit I am not comfortable with the idea of a cyber-diary, and I approach the e-journal world with a degree of trepidation. I mean, aren't diaries supposed to be hidden under the bed?

And the whole idea that you can protect your blogged privates is of little comfort. What happens if the internet is hacked by balaclava-clad nerds intent on exposing my thoughts to the world?  On second thoughts, I think I'll be okay if that's the worst that can happen. Why can't I possess the self-conceit of that Generation Y - happy to share their deepest, darkest thoughts and endless snapshots of drunken escapades with multiple 'friends' and strangers alike? I guess I'm self-aware enough to know that no-one really cares what I write because most people online are too busy with their own blogged, facebooked lives to care.

I always thought that blogs are for extroverts and the 'me, me, me generation' with their hallmark narcissistic tendencies - everyone should read about me because I am endlessly fascinating etc. Sure, I am on Facebook, replete with friends, some with origins unknown, but only because everyone else is.  I was starting to feel like I was being left behind at a random bus stop on a dark night in the middle of nowhere on the information superhighway.

What can I say, the e-pressure got the best of me, so I jumped on the band-width wagon. Now I have many friends, from the past and present, and am left wondering what the facebook generation will do when they realise that some people are meant to be left in the past. I suppose deleting them from a friends list is no different, and perhaps easier, than promising each other you'll catch up soon.

I'm done, until next time I reflect.....

Space and Military technology in safe hands

Imagine a laser beam so powerful and precise that it could push space debris the size of a pin head out of the path of a satellite. Or a war-zone hotshot being defended by a remote controlled system, mitigating the risk of casualties. While these fictitious ‘star wars’ settings belong in a Hollywood movie, the concepts make good business sense for Canberra-based business Optic Electro Systems (EOS). Their laser technology products are hot property and have the attention of the biggest players in the global space and military sectors.

An unremarkable brown brick building in Griffith is home to EOS, a quarter of a billion dollar success story and a world leader in the niche field of laser imagery technology. While the nearby dirt car park belies their success, the building interior is sleek, polished and minimalist, befitting a company whose key business partners include NASA and the U.S. Military.

The company is split into a space and military division, with offices in the United States and Europe. Although it began in more humble surroundings, in the industrial sector in Queanbeyan. EOS Group General Manager Ron Thompson says Queanbeyan’s appeal was the cheap rent and handy facilities, but the choice of location was also strategic. “No-one in Australia, let alone Washington, knows where Queanbeyan is”, says Mr Thompson.  The close proximity to Canberra means an assimilation with funding by an arm of the Federal Government.

The company was created in 1986 by current CEO, Dr Ben Greene. At the time, the United States President Ronald Reagan was espousing a new defence initiative, known as 'star wars'.  One of the roles of this initiative involved shooting down missiles in space. The Australian Government was opposed to this application of technology and abandoned its support.

“Space debris is the reason our Government of the day moved away from supporting star wars”, Mr Thompson explains. Dr Greene was a Commonwealth employee, working in aerospace, and saw a unique opportunity to take the technology that had been created in the government environment and turn it into a private enterprise. He predicted space debris would pose a big problem in the future.

Twenty years on, while experts around the globe are challenged by the environmental degradation on earth, EOS are confronting the issue in space. “We are working hand over fist to correct the mess in space”, says Mr Thompson. The company’s technology will enable them to locate space debris, catalogue it and, in the long term, to demonstrate the ability to move debris out of its current orbit and into the earth’s atmosphere where it will burn up.

In a star wars analogy, Mr Thompson explains, “the laser will give a glancing blow; it’s like pushing someone in the shoulder, it pushes you off track. You don’t need to use a lot of energy”.

It is a very advanced and costly program, but one EOS say is necessary. “We have environmentally screwed space”, Mr Thompson said. referring to the estimated 30 million pieces of man made debris that NASA say are orbiting earth, ranging from 1 millimetre to metres in size.

And the recently exploding Chinese satellite created an estimated 2 million pieces. “Space is now more valuable real estate than anything on earth. And unless we can do something about it (debris), then the demise of earth will only happen quicker”, says Mr Thompson.

Today, the approval process to launch a satellite is stricter than the cold war days. “Every satellite has to be launched into a particular orbit and there are treaties that impact, affect and control all of space; we all work in a very controlled environment”, says Mr Thompson. He believes that the data will invariably be of more interest to the insurance industry, as a risk mitigate, than it might be to other nations.

The military division of EOS is also heavily involved in global technological developments. Last year, the company earned wide recognition after winning a contract to supply the Australian Army with forty-four remote control weapon systems to support Australian troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. The product, called CROWS (Common Remote Operated Weapon Station) allows the operator to locate and identify the enemy and fire the weapon from a protected environment, not unlike a playstation.

The ADF wanted them because the U.S. had them and gave rave reviews. “They are so common with the US, there is commonality of operational training. They have the ability to understand the product of the other party quite well”, said Mr Thompson.

The company’s relations with the U.S. military began when the U.S. discovered EOS’ weapon systems research and wanted to test it in Iraq. “The U.S. troop carriers were armour plated and protected from underground explosion, but when they had people jumping out from behind a tree with a granade launcher, they had no defence mechanism for protecting themselves”, says Mr Thompson, and adds, “mobile granade launchers are now a real threat to people in conflict zones as they can be hoisted over the shoulder”.

EOS have designed and will soon test an anti-granade launcher weapon system. As the enemy gets smarter, the defence mechanisms need to be just as clever to counteract. And EOS knows, as well as any Government, that maintaining credibility with the customer means keeping troops out of harms way.

If the military world stopped fighting tomorrow, the world’s money would be focused again on space research, and EOS has that side of the game covered. “Our core technology is lasers and they are applied in two environments where they will always be in demand, space and military, although one maybe more so than the other”, Mr Thompson said.

While EOS compete for contracts with U.S. technology giants, part of the company’s appeal is its nimbleness. “We can change quickly to suit the end users needs, and we are usually aware of the need before they know that they have one”, says Mr Thompson.

Last year, EOS was recognised by the ACT Government as the Top Exporter of the Year, for their unique expertise in defence technology. “Not only has the company contributed millions of export dollars to the ACT economy, but through its Washington office it has also supported other Canberra businesses looking to break into the American market,” Chief Minister John Stanhope said. The future and security of international space and military technology is in safe hands.

For more information on Electro Optic Systems (EOS) go to http://www.eos-aus.com/.