Australia's stupidest home videos

I don't think idiots need any encouragement to do really stupid things. They are perfectly capable of behaving like morons without any financial incentive or the allure of a national audience to watch them make an arse of themselves. The problem is, idiots will, by their very nature, hurt themselves to get their mug on telly in anticipation of winning an entertainment unit.

I wonder how many people end up in hospital after trying to perfect a stunt for the incredibly stupid Australia's Funniest Home Videos, on Channel Nine.  Maybe there should be a loophole for insurers that states they don't have to cover damages in the event of dickhead behaviour. AAMI: I’m sorry, we do not cover damage caused by floods or Australian larrikinism. You need a brain, not insurance. It's not like these morons can show their insurance company the footage to prove they were hurt by accident, because most of the clips are so stunted that the participants could get a job on Home and Away.

Speaking of acting, the effervescent host, Shelley Craft, does a miraculous job in pretending her show isn’t the most idiotic program on television. When I stare confused at the telly, she laughs hysterically. When I shake my head in amazement at the low IQ antics of some of the show's reality stars, she laughs hysterically. I imagine that’s her coping mechanism to get through the program.

Note to observers who are also caught on camera in spurious home videos: if you are producing a bogus accident, make sure you look surprised when your mate breaks his neck / dislocates his shoulder / or decapitates himself. It sort of looks rigged if you just sit there with a smirk on your face.

Don't get me wrong; I don't give two hoots about these fools. If they want to put their lives at risk, I'm all for nature taking it's course. In fact, I quite like watching the raw Darwinian natural selection process in action. But don't make fun of your children or put animals at risk, you douche bag.