Walking with a Narcissistic T-Rex

Being rich means having a lot of dosh, or something yum with a fairly significant amount of butter or cream. I guess they both can kill you in the end in different ways.  Even though the title is as helpful as ever, I'll give you a hint of what this post is about; it's not about me making a batch of scones.

Brian loving himself sick.

The BRW Entertainers List has recently been released, and the biggest surprise to me is that we have entertainers in Australia that don't have to supplement their income through waitressing jobs or working as adult entertainment to keep a mansion over their heads.  Despite the fact that man holds dominion over all animals, at the number one spot, raking in $60 million big ones in 2010-11, are a bunch of dinosaurs.

Global Creatures, the production company who brought us Walking with Dinosaurs - The Arena Spectacular,  have one of the those pretentious websites that is completely confusing and incomprehensible. It is designed like that because they are important artists, you know. If everybody could understand and navigate their website, and have an insight into the intricacies of their complex artisitic brains, they wouldn't be talented artists any more, they'd just be nerdy kids into animatronics who got lucky.

Felipe is the company's Inflatables Expert, which can't get him many dates. Or maybe it gets him a lot of dates; who knows the ways of artists.  Inflatable dinosaurs, you say? Yeah, okay, that totally doesn't need any further explanation.  How big can the kinky market for inflatable dinosaurs really be?  Poor Felipe probably has to constantly explain himself at arty tete-e-tetes to cretins who can't get their minds out of the gutter.

I imagine Felipe's job is a bit like a paleontologist; only really necessary when a movie director needs someone to explain dinosaurs.

We Aussies like to blow our own trumpet on the world stage when it comes to, well, pretty much everything.  Like when an actress wins an academy award and the dress designer's sister works in the factory where they made the fabric and knows someone there who is Australian - AUSTRALIAN! - and all the major networks in the country run with it as breaking news.  It's all just a little embarassing.

The actresses of the world, like our Naomi Watts (Number 3) and Nicole Kidman (4) must be pretty pissed about being trumped by a bunch of extinct prehistoric creatures for the honour of being the most entertaining.  Youth is king in the world of celebrity, and dinosaurs have to be only thirty years old, if not younger.  So by this logic, Naomi and Nic are older than dinosaurs.  They must be full of resentful bile at the moment.

I wonder if the Walking with Dinosaurs dinosaurs are as excessively preoccuped with themselves as their fellow actors, and spend their off duty hours falling in love with their own reflection.  I guess if anyone has caught them dry humping a mirror we'd know we had ourselves a narcissistic T-Rex.

Dinosaurs don't have to worry about keeping themselves beautiful for the papparazzi either.  Their days of botox shots and endless pampering went out the window a few billions years ago.  Maybe they can get a skincare commercial, like Kate Moss; because they're worth it.  Who would notice the difference?