Long Live The Lizzies

Who's excited about HM the Queen's Diamond Jubilee in London this weekend? I am CAPSLOCK EXCITED. I should be there to rejoice with my people, the Royals; no-one knows how to wear a crown or a union jack or indeed eggs, bacon, sausage, tomato and black pudding quite like myself, if I do say so myself. What, you don't know how to wear it? Well that's what I'm talking about.

That's well smart

I can't wear my very arresting (see: not sexy) union jack t-shirt in Australia, because in the past few years British memorabilia has become a fair bit trendy and hip in a kitschy manner of speaking in this country, by way of everything from clothes to toilet paper to bogus British accents.

I have be known to engage in a bit of the latter from time to time.  I think it aggrieves people, which has resulted in its swift elevation to one of my favourite hobbies. I like to think that it makes me sound like the Bond girl that got away, but w'ever. I also do a fairly unconvincing Texan, French and South Australian.

Back in the day, not so long ago, my main purpose for wearing my union jack was to proudly show off my large, voluptuous monarchist credentials. They are very generous. It's okay, I'll give you a few minutes to roll your Republican eyes and whinge into your Twinings tea and plate of scones. *Note to self: totally need to do a whole post on Twinings teabags. Shame on you for not doing so earlier.

HM the Queen has been chief cook and tiara washer of the British monarchy for sixty years.  And apparently she has a cracking memory, and can recall most of the conversations she has held with the eleven Prime Ministers she has seen since the dawn of time, or since the bling bling crown was placed on her head; whichever came first. A meeting every Tuesday, and she remembers, which must be some type of Gingko Biloba memory trick.

I like all the Royals; yes I do. And then there's the commoner turned winner-of-the-bachelor-prince-lotto, Kate, who is so abundantly bestowed with all the various qualities required of a King's consort that one can barely stand her. But, yes, I like her too, although she did wear a red jacket once that irritated me. Oh look, I did a blog post about it. Shocker.

I can't bear the thought of Her Maj passing on to Buckingheaven Palace, and I'm really not sold on the idea of King Charles. King Chuck. Hm, no. I’m quite fond of Charles, but not in the role of Lord of the Royal Things. But I think the Poms have realised that they have a better shot at being Best Monarchy if they have a better King, so there might be a revolution in them there Wills.

Long live the Elizabeths.