Duchess Kate's Full Plate

I've been a travellin' man for the past month, so I haven't caught much of the London Olympics. I know a lot people whinge that the Games are stupid and contrived and full of cheats that shouldn't rely on Government handouts to do their job, but I generally find that the people who make these claims are just projecting their own life's setbacks through an elite sporting event.

Okay, we get that you weren't picked for your high school basketball team, but get over it already.

I've just arrived back in the country, in time for the final days of competition, so I'm making the most of it, even if I have to make the most of it through the fill-in-the-final-days sports, like BMX biking, sailing and powerwalking through the gardens of Buckinghuge Palace.

Speaking of Her Majesty's digs, I was watching the walking race earlier, where competitors pretend they are elite athletes by engaging in an activity that is often favoured by really old people on zimmer frames to enhance their strength and mobility. 

The race feels like it's going to go for about 28 hours, so I'll check in again tomorrow to see if it's raining yet.  I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess yes.  I noted the subtle landmark tourism campaign that the organisers have employed on the race course.

It weaves right around the Palace and then up and down The Mall. The only thing they could have done to shove the City of Westminster any further down my throat was have the walkers pace furiously up and down the corridors of the Palace with corgis nipping at their nikes.

I have also noted that British uberbrand, Duchess Kate, is leading the London tourism campaign through her attendence at every single event on the Olympic calendar.

The poor girl even had to attend the boxing finals, where I imagine she was forced to sit amongst a bunch of drunk, tattooed deadbeat commoners and watch fierce chicks beat the daylights out of each other in the name of the Olympic Spirit.  Although they were probably trying not to focus on the bit that says to build a peaceful and better world.  Duchess Kate was charmed, I'm sure.