Brain fartin'. Travellin'.

It’s been a while since I felt a blog communicado coming on. My lemon zest for writing has been on the wane of late, which is probably a positive because it usually involves me spewing a constant stream of inane information, some of which sometimes makes sense on occasion.

I’ve been thinking a bit in recent times about how my brain garners me no favours. A few years ago it decided, in its great lack of valuable opinion or feedback, that it wanted to write The Novel one day and apparently I’m supposed to just go along with this harebrained idea that would require considerable skill, time and effort. I mean, what the feck? A fairly unreasonable and improbable goal. Thanks a lot, brain.

It certainly didn’t consult me in the decision making process, if there even was one, which is no great revelation.

Let’s write a book! Oh, great idea.
Let’s overstay our working holiday visa in England! Excellent plan.
And my personal favourite – let’s join the public sector! Oh, can we!?

ANYWAY. I’ve just purchased a new superlative suitcase for my next holiday later this year. My current suitcase has had a tough life, thanks to Qantas for losing it for six days and sending it on a round-the-world expedition to return it to me. Once I received it in Florida, it had so many airline sponsor stickers on it I thought it had joined a Formula One team as a Grid Suitcase.

I’ve barely recovered from my last rendezvous with the world’s airports, if we are being generous enough to consider New Zealand part of ‘the world’. It was six weeks ago, which is about 200 days, give or take. My trip to UnZud's aiports was tremendously successful, in no small part because it did not involve American airports.

Speaking of Other Countries, one of my favourite things about my forthcoming 5-week international to my Mother Country of England (not my Mother Country in the traditional understanding of mother country) is that fact that I’m not venturing to that place where the vast majority of French people live. Le bullet dodged.