Snakes and Manners

I love nature; really I do.  It's all natural and stuff and the absolute best thing about venturing into nature is that it is largely devoid of annoying humanoids, probably the same ones who insist on using supermarkets and highways the same freakin' time as I do.  But as much as I love being in nature's aura, I refuse to spend the night with it, because that's what houses are for.

I write of nature because today I saw my seventh hissy snake of the 2012-13 snakey season.  I regularly walk up a mountain - think Everest, and then decrease the enormity just a fraction - so I am accustomed to a world of creepy, Jurassic Park-type creatures and their crazy, creepy ways.  I wonder if there are any type of snake or lizard that all the other snakes and lizards find weird and creepy?  Only us humans, probably.

Me and snakes get along just tickety boo.  When I say tickety boo, I mean we tolerate each other. Like most marriages. Like ebony and ivory, we live togther in perfect harmony. Until we don't.  In actual fact snakes are shit scared of me and I must admit that my heart rate goes through the roof when we encounter each other.  I'm not scared of them as such, but I would be okay if they didn't always throw me a surprise party whenever I showed up on their mountain. That's all. 

It's not like I don't plan ahead and practice good mountain etiquette.  A few years ago I decided that I would warn my snake buddies of my arrival on the mountain by basically stomping along as I walked up the mountain.  It's just good manners.  They are supposed to feel the vibrations and stay the fuck away from me.  These were the rules.  They were good rules.  Everyone knew the rules.  But apparently a new family of snakes have moved into the neighbourhood and don't know about the body corporate. 

Why are there so many snakes? I think they need to implement a one child policy in the reptilian world. Why the hell would anyone want 40 children anyway?  It's not like they get a baby bonus.  Or do they?

That is all. Good day.