Discontinued Things

Discontinued is one of my dislike words.  I wish people would discontinue using it all the time. Discontinue doesn't even end properly, it just keeps going until it runs out of vowels.  And that's just lazy.

Everyone knows the feeling when one's favourite consumer goods are so-called discontinued.  It feels personal.  As if the stupid big business involved sent their yellow cylindrical minions with their metal eye goggles into your home to trawl through your bathroom and kitchen cabinets looking for products that you clearly appreciate so they can condemn them to product pergatory just to piss you off.

If consumers buy a product by the bucketload apparently the obvious thing to do is discontinue the shit out of it and bring out a similar looking but otherwise inferior product just to screw with their heads. 

I've recently had two of my favourite products discontinued.  A lip gloss and some leg stocking type adornage, both of which I have been buying for years and years and both of which were always so darn popular that I could never find them on the shelves.

You had to be at the right Woolies at the right time to hook in that hosiery in the right size and colour.  A whole lot of star alignment involved. Have you ever tried to wrangle stars?  They just do their own gravity thing.  It's just impossible.

Revlon
Stupid Revlon have relieved me of the burden of having to buy my favourite lip garnish.  Back in the day, before it was discontinued, I liked this smacker so much that I bought five of them in Hawaii a few years ago because the price was a fifth of what they charge in Australia.  Revlon won't ever be anyone anyway.  Not with that attitude.

Wicked
Stockings, hosiery, pantyhose are a constant source of annoyance for all women.  And it's just getting worse because it seems women have lost the attention of manufacturers to the male market.

NFL football players, hunters, men with varicose veins, horseback riders and soldiers have been hogging the attention of manufacturers for years now. Apparently.  I don't have any empirical evidence to back up this claim, I just know it to be true because this person I know has a sister who knows someone who knows Wikipedia.

Speaking of stockings, my favourite brand, Wicked, has been discontinued.  I contacted their parent company, big mumma Pacific Brands, to get the lowdown on why they want to grind the hopes and dreams of my legs into the dirt and almost immediately regretted it.  I spoke to a lady - let's call her Apathy - who appeared quite bored with my annoying customer service dramas.  After enquiring if there was anything else she could do to make my life more wretched she popped me through to Sales.

As expected, Sales were super happy to speak to the general public.  After toying with my will to live Sales advised me to stock up at wholesale prices at voodoofactoryoutlet.com.au.  So I did.  I bought 46 pairs of stockings at wholesale prices.  Thanks Apathy.