Left Arm Training Academy

I've recently hurt my right shoulder in a way that is quite painful and exceedingly annoying.  A tear, bursitis, tendinitis, probably also appendicitis and definitely something else that I can't remember but causes me much crankiness and throbbiness.

I've been reluctant to take painkillers in case they do their job properly and kill the pain and I damage the stupid limb more than it already has been.  

In fact, I'm so hard core that I'm practically Jack Bauer, except without the annoyingly quiet whispery voice or the cool reputation.  And I don't generally pack heat when I go to my day job.

Although, as of the last few hours, I've been crunching down anti-inflammatories as if they were candy crush.

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I hurt my arm while out on a run up a mountain.  I slipped, fell on my arse and my stupid right limb pointlessly tried to save me from the mud and screwed itself in the process.  

So, in the absence of a working arm, I'm currently trying to train my left arm to take up some of the slack that my right arm usually has to put up.

Training The Left while The Right ventures reluctantly through the medical system has had its ups and downs.  Mostly downs.  The Left has no fucking idea what it's doing.  

It doesn't know how to open a door, drive a car by itself, open the fridge, a jar, type by itself, and it refuses to lean over and get a shopping centre ticket or swipe in my underground car park, so we all have to get out, much to the annoyance of the humanoids behind me.  I'm thinking of putting an L magnet on my car to indicate to morons that I'm a left-handed driver.

I try to stay away from writing about politics in my bloggeroonies, but, much like political leftists, my left arm is proving to be lazy and incompetent.  Like a leftwing Hollywood movie star, who have so much money they never have to mix with the proletariat scum they claim to champion, there is little point to my left arm.  

I really had no idea it was so damn useless.  It's toying with my will to live or, at the very least, my desire to do anything that requires upper limb activity.

On listening to me whinging about my left arm training academy today, a friend said this to me.  She actually said this: "I regularly train my left arm to do stuff in case I lose the ability in my right arm".  Seriously, what?

While I now sort of understand the plight of left-handers in Western society, fucking please, what is it with left-handers with their need for a special day - International Lefthanders Day?  

Here's an excerpt from Wiki on these oppressed people:

Thousands of left-handed people are discriminated in today's society, are forced to use right handed tools, drive on the right side of the road and even get harassed.  International Lefthanders Day is made to end this discrimination.

I suppose that's true.  But maybe they should regularly train their right arm to operate heavy machinery.