When Louis (Vuitton) met Tiffany (& Co)

In a pairing reminiscent of that time when Harry met Sally, Louis Vuitton has just shamelessly, without caring about who was even watching, assumed a take over of Tiffany &a Co.

Looks like Louis is really going to have to up its game on Etsy - The Internets premier location for handmade or vintage crafty things. They'll be no more of those handstitched cheap canvas bags or velcro wallets they're always trying to flog on the online markets; no, they're in the big league now. Time to step up their game, because Tiffany is FANCY.

Although, just because Tiffany is a leader in the luxury jewellery market with its high-end products and its trademark Tiffany Blue coloured boxes, it doesn't make its name any less trashy. 

Tiffany sounds like the type of brand that grew up in a dubious part of town, conceivably in a trailer park neighbourhood, and worked at the local Taco Bell until it was 17, when it all started to sour and it began dancing at a ‘gentleman’s club’ to support itself through its cocaine habit. 

It definitely sounds like the type of company that could be bought. For whatever price you offer it. And, as it turns out, Louis Vuitton decided to offer it a lot of money. Lots of dollar bills were placed in its blingy diamond g-string. 23 billion dollar bills, in fact. That calls for one hell of a designer g-string with a lot of give.

Anyway, throughout the years, Tiffany has overcome its tragic backstory (aka the one about living in the real world with the rest of us) and has gone on to make an average annual revenue of AUD$4 billion, so its managing to get by in life in that 'one percenter' jungle it inhabits. 

But now, even though it’s known around the world for its bejazzled bracelets, pretty boxes and blingy diamond g-strings (just kidding, made this one up, don't sue me Tiffany & Co; but it's not a bad idea, no?), it’s just hooked up with a guy called Louis. 

Louis is likely to completely defile Tiffany’s reputation with its tawdry French personality and ruin the beautiful trademark Tiffany turquoisey bluey green with its horrid trademark poo shades.

Louis has significant material wealth, with annual revenue at AUD$74 billion in 2018, enough to keep Tiffany off the high streets and in the luxury retail establishments to which it is most accustomed, so I presume Tiffany isn't doing this for love.  

"I have enough diamonds", said Tiffany never.