The strike comes as Canberra water company Actew fights to block the release of an independent review into managing director Mark Sullivan's pay, just weeks after fellow utility ActewAGL refused to disclose the wages of its top executives.
"Every weekend that twat, Mark Sullivan, comes to the Cotter to try and part me like I'm the fucking Red Sea. The stupid knobhead doesn't know I've already been parted. I mean, I'm a fucking dam", said the slightly unhinged Water, splashing itself down with a bucket and pale so as not to evaporate.
"I am so sick of this ACTEW pay scale palaver. What about me? Don't the big Water cheeses know who I am? I can make myself fucking scarce anytime I want and put them out of a job", said a flushed and angry Water.
The planned strike will be the first time since it last stopped raining that local environmentalist's heads will spin on their axis' and explode in a fit of self-righteous indignation, which will come as a relief to the other 99.9999% of the population who think they're complete raging twats.
But it can't be all that bad, as it means ACT Greens MLA, Shane Rattenbury, will stop walking into my shower at the 38 seconds mark, screaming that I'm personally responsible for ruining the whole earth through my water usage.
Despite repeated attempts to resolve the issue behind closed doors, the belligerent Water refuses to waiver in its bid to be the centre of attention.
"One day the world will be plunged into an apocalyse-type nightmare and psychotics will kill just for a drop of me", said H20, as it asked for a glass of itself.
 |
| An angry local body of water |
No comments:
Post a Comment