Poor ol' Scotland - she’s got herself all riled up. Earlier this year, Councillors in Edinburgh voted in favour of a "tourist tax", ending tourists rampant exploitation of the city’s hotel accommodation. Wait, what? Tourist tax? Noo jist naod on!
The tax will be a £2 (AUD$3.70) room surcharge, per night, for the first week of every stay in the city's accommodation dwellings.
Tourists already pay a wee bonnie fortune to travel and stay in big, popular cities. But, evidently, the wee scunners at the Council think this plan will offer huge financial benefits, estimated at a staggering £14.6million every year.
They are going ta skelp yer wee behind!
To be honest, I’m very much on board with this idea. Providing I can dish out my own levies if I choose to tour Scotland, including, but not limited to, £2 for any rainshower during the day.
Tourists do not like rainfall during the day. £2 for every haggas reference and/or offer of haggas. No tourist is eating the haggas. No-one. Yer aff yer heid if you think I’ll eat the haggas.
But surely – SURELY – they could be more creative about this. If you really want to make some decent cash to put into the kitty for the city’s insfrastructure and development, tax tourists for things they do that are annoying.
Because if they'd whack a levy on all the annoying things tourists do, they'd actually have quite enough cash to fix all those ruinous royal castles that are dotted around the green, green wolds and the blue, blue lochs.
The definition of the word tourist is annoying. That’s the tourist calling card. It’s our meishi. It used to be on our visas. It was a very easy way to identify us.
Simple ways to tax tourists:
The tax will be a £2 (AUD$3.70) room surcharge, per night, for the first week of every stay in the city's accommodation dwellings.
Tourists already pay a wee bonnie fortune to travel and stay in big, popular cities. But, evidently, the wee scunners at the Council think this plan will offer huge financial benefits, estimated at a staggering £14.6million every year.
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| Not really relevant, but adorables. |
They are going ta skelp yer wee behind!
To be honest, I’m very much on board with this idea. Providing I can dish out my own levies if I choose to tour Scotland, including, but not limited to, £2 for any rainshower during the day.
Tourists do not like rainfall during the day. £2 for every haggas reference and/or offer of haggas. No tourist is eating the haggas. No-one. Yer aff yer heid if you think I’ll eat the haggas.
But surely – SURELY – they could be more creative about this. If you really want to make some decent cash to put into the kitty for the city’s insfrastructure and development, tax tourists for things they do that are annoying.
Because if they'd whack a levy on all the annoying things tourists do, they'd actually have quite enough cash to fix all those ruinous royal castles that are dotted around the green, green wolds and the blue, blue lochs.
The definition of the word tourist is annoying. That’s the tourist calling card. It’s our meishi. It used to be on our visas. It was a very easy way to identify us.
Simple ways to tax tourists:
- Pronouncing it Edin-borrow, instead of the correct Edin-bur-a or Edin-bra – Fine: £5
- Not knowing that you are not in England – Fine: £5
- Expecting locals to be impressed about your clan. They are not. There are millions like you – Fine: £5
- Buying your own family’s tartan. There is evidence that highlanders wore tartan cloth as far back as the seventeenth century, but your clan probably didn't have it's own, despite what the tourist shops would like you to believe – Fine: £5
- Barging in front of queues. The British do not like a queue jumper – Fine: £5
