Am I too old to be going through a Star Wars thing?

Amazeballs album - Dark Side of the Death Star

I very recently watched a Star Wars flick again and now I'm freshly obsessed. Which was a goal in fact because next week I am going to the Galaxy's Edge, Disneyland's brand spanking new land made of stormtroopers and death stars, which are the prettiest most sparkly stars around.

The new land is called Batuu. It's a remote outpost planet on the edge of the galaxy and is the last stop before you hit wild space. I'm fairly certain none of this is based on rigorous study and experiment and is solely Disney Physics but that's okay because they had me at the first sod of dirt that was turned.

I'm hoping the Disney Imagineers have managed to evoke The Force, because I quite like the idea of getting what I want in life simply by concentrating hard enough. How lovely. I'll have All The Things, please.

Surprisingly, many people have not even seen one scene of the most cultic, iconic cinematic cashcows there has ever been. I know; I've polled all of the people.  I imagine I am one of the first bloggers in history to blog about Star Wars but anyway.

First the people who have never witnessed the greatness, Star Wars stars a couple of robots, a big furry bear thing, men who wear too much beige, an annoying lady with a retro Princess Leia hairdo, armed men in all-white outfits wearing tap shoes, and a cape-wearing lunatic, but we all have our foibles.

While the fanatics debate the intracacies of hyperspace travel, the exact measurements of the Death Star, and the main themes running through the series, for example, the power of knowledge and the inability to control your destiny and how awesome and powerful you are if you are the Dark Side leader, a few key questions that never get answered keep rattling around in my head:

• Why do storm troopers wear tap shoes?

• There is practically no responsible use of lightsabres.  Someone could get seriously hurt.

• Every single malfunction on the Millenium Falcon can easily be fixed with a blowtorch.

• None of the windows on any of the space fleet seem to be double-glazed.  Who builds a space thingy without even blinds or curtains to keep out the intergalactic chill?  Who?  I wonder if Richard Branson has thought of curtains for his flying harem of galactic Virgins.

• There is far too much work involved to become a Jedi Knight.

• Yoda would have had another 200 years in him if Luke had stopped hassling him with endless inane questions.

• I love Harrison Ford.

• I want one of those doors that slide open at lightning speed.  The first movie was filmed in the 70's, so why aren't quickarse speedy doors mainstream forty years later?