Aliens, FBI and Richard Branson

In the 100 or so posts I have blogged this year, I seemed to have neglected the extremely pressing and topical issue of aliens, UFO sightings, abductions and various other close encounters of the kind that always seem to happen to completely fucking insane people.  I must rectify this terrible oversight and write about them forthwith.

It's lucky that some poor stooge in the United States Federal Government doesn't have to investigate every alien sighting of every moron who thinks they've seen something mysterious in the night sky that they can't explain.  Oh wait, someone does have to do that?  I suppose someone has to give a shit.

You may think the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) spends every second of every day tracking serial killers, pedophiles, cyber bullies, and other people that, you know, aren't terribly society-friendly, but they are also required to look into alien sightings.  They have squillions of interviews with crazy farmers and various gap toothed, trailer park folk on their website - "I done seen it over there!" U.S taxpayer dollars well spent. 

The FBI were first drawn into this craziness in 1947, when there were a "rash" of UFO sightings.  Coincidentally, 1947 was also the year that the movie, Miracle on 34th Street, was first shown in theaters.  The movie is actually of no relevanace to UFOs and aliens, but my qustion to you is this:  why did they first show a Christmas movie in March? Totally weird year, 1947.

I'm sure aliens - or extraterrestrial life, if I want to be politically correct, which I rarely do - do exist, but not in a form that is visible or comprehensible to the human race.  I imagine they are simple bacteria-like organisms, which don't translate very well on the Hollywood bigscreen.

But you can't convince the Americans of this - they are totally obsessed with aliens in their scary, Hollywood form.  Think E.T phoning home.  Think, Mork.   Think any moronic character that Steven Spielberg or James Cameron conjures up.
 
It's anyone's guess why aliens would assume a human type form.  And why would they go to America?  Surely if you are looking for other intelligent life you would go anywhere but America.  And why would aliens choose to get around in flying saucers; given they're a Hollywood invention?  If I, as a human, am puzzled by these questions, I can only imagine how confused the poor little aliens are when sitting around their alien boardroom wondering where to send their alien astronauts. 
 
I must say, I empathise with other life out there in the final frontier.  Little do they know that Richard Branson is devising a plan to go intergallactic in the next few years with his Virgin brand, which means all life in outer space will have to put up with a bunch of spoilt, rich earthlings on Branson's outer space party shuttles.  I'm not sure how Branson will make the flight attendants look slutty in their over-sized space suits but I'm sure he'll find a way.