Kindling on the Beach

I have no idea who invented personal e-book readers, but when Amazon rubbed a bunch of twigs together to create their little Kindle, they lit a fire under armchair reading enthusiasts all over the world, which turned into a bonfire that would consume unsuspecting publishing houses around the globe. 

And, fortunately, these little electronic spot fires would allow booklovers to stop tearing their hair out when planning and packing their carry-on luggage for an international holiday. 

It meant that we no longer had to drag around a bunch of dog-earred airport novels from one country to the next, but it also means preeminent authors like hotel room heiress Paris Hilton probably no longer have an avenue to air their distinguished works.  Which is a tragedy.  Bonfire of the vanities, indeed.

Even if you weren't a big reader back in those pre-e days, everyone travelled with books, just in case your airline of choice decided to make you wait five hours in a deserted airport in Narita, Japan with nothing to entertain yourself but a completed cryptic crossword, sans eraser!  Because that never happens anymore. 

But thank god for the dichotomy of travelling with books, says Random House.  They possibly didn't say that at all, but you just know that's what they're thinking. 

Bookworms love the convenience and comfort of travelling light with an e-reader, but if you are going to a beach in a land far, far away, then you need to take an actual printed book, because Kindles don't do sand. 

Whoever invented e-book readers wasn't much of a beach bum.  Thank god for beaches too, says Random House.  I bet they did say that.

While electronic gadgets are superb for the international traveller, they are not terribly useful for international beachbummers on Waikiki Beach, where cheesy paperback, soft porn airport novels rule supreme, due to their ability to more often that not survive a random salt water attack of any magnitude.