Kim Jong-Un's Candy Crush Addiction

I first started blogging back in medieval times.  My days were jammed packed with super fun jousting tournaments, battles with shiny fair dinkum swords, and much feasting on wild boar's heads through the fast food drive-through.  Oh the shenanigans, kids.  My first writings were - now try to follow this - NOT ON A COMPUTER.  Yep, not on a computer.  I used a thing called an actual diary.  I know, those were heady, biro-fuelled days.

Now flash forward to the 1990's - when it was still amusing to make 'now flash forward' jokes about time travelling in a Delorean circa Back to the Future - and I would write for days and days about all manner of important and meaningful things in my diaries.  Politics and philosophy mostly. 

I was cocky, young, impressionable and hopelessly naive that I could one day change the whole planet earth.  And I cared fairly deeply about the fate of the world until I reached approximately 23 years of age.  And now I am in the public sector, which is well-regarded for it's exemplary work at grinding one's dreams into the dirt. 

I swear to god I started this blog post with a point in mind, but I've gotten all distracted now with jousting and wild pigs.  Oh yes, Candy Crush; the ridiculously pointless smart phone game that wastes hours and hours of time that people could otherwise spend looking at I Can Haz Cheeseburger cats on Facebook. 

Hm, now who else wants to alter the world?  Looks like that delightfully sociopathic North Korean freakshow, Kim Jung-Un, wants to take a crack.  You know what America needs to do?  They need to get that little despot hopelessly addicted to Candy Crush like the rest of us, and then he'll have no time - NO TIME! - for his political re-landscaping.  Although the other thing it may encourage him to do is set off nukes in sets of three, so there's that.

Since the inception of my own personal addiction to this stupid game, I have noticed that it does nothing more than enable my borderline OCD.  123, 123, 123, 123.  And bad things do actually happen if you don't make it to the count of three.  You lose, mainly.  Must go; I have candy to blow up.