Friday 19 February 2016

Cruising the San Andreas fault line highway

In July 2016 I am venturing to the West Coast of North America for a month of sightseeing, photo taking, tourist making, hire car braking, earth quaking and bear handshaking. Doing all the tourism things. 

The itinerary has my travel bud and I flying into Canada, eh. We will then do all the touristy things in Vancouver before whipping down the coast into the United States. 

Next up will be Seattle because why not it's on the route, San Fransisco, Carmel, Monterey, staying with Robert Downey Jr in Los Angeles for a few days, and then driving down the coast a bit more to crash on Mickey and Minnie's couch at Anaheim for a few days before flying to Honolulu for some R & R because holidays are so stressful.

The west coast highway runs almost parallel with the San Andreas fault. Nothing says I had a great holiday like a earthquake emergency. 

We will also be spending time in Yosemite, home of tall red trees, Yosemite Sam probably, waterfalls and probably other types of wild things, all carefully packaged into a big box with a big red bow of touristy goodness. Nothing says tranquility like 20 bus loads of pensioners from Florida.

Everything I know about the wildlife in North America I picked up from Looney Tunes cartoons. 

Chipmunks? Alvin. 

Moose? Have you not seen Rocky and Bullwinkle? They are hilarious. They won't hurt you. Rocky was the flying squirrel and his best friend,  Bullwinkle, was the dim-witted but good natured anthropomorphic moose. They spent their time fighting Russian type spies and stuff like that. If I drop my thick KGB accent I'll be fine.

Wile E. Coyote? If I notice any complex and ludicrous devices with ACME Corporation written on them along the side of the road in California I'll probably drive around them like a normal person. 

Wolves? Kevin Costner went running with them in a movie; they just want to play.

Bears? Bears will leave you alone if you give them a big jar of honey with a honey dipper and a picnic basket. And according to memes on Google, Canada have bear street gangs, so I'll be sure to join one when travelling through Vancouver on my moose. 

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