Why so Cirrus?

Local cloud, Gary Smith

A cloud has responded to reports that he doesn’t know what he’s doing when he forms and dissipates all day.

Local cloud, Gary Smith, says the public try and predict his behaviour all the time and whinge, sometimes even to his face, when he comes into view. But he says he is just misunderstood.

“We arrive, we rain on you, we disappear; that’s just we do. When I was growing up I wanted to be a thunderstorm, or I could have been a hurricane if I applied myself, but sometimes you just need to stick to a solid, steady income to make ends meet”, he said, as he struggled to stay in one spot without the wind blowing him away.

Cloud Gary reads reports and forecasts about his behaviour but says it’s mostly fake news, “I read an online weather report this morning that gave me a 95% chance of clouding over the sky, but I’m unpredictable, man. The weatherpeople on the media rarely know what they're talking about”, Gary said, before waving two fingers in front of his mouth to summons a pink fluffy cloud to prove his point, just like Monkey in the 1980s TV series Monkey.

He also questions the validity of people who make a living talking about weather all day. “I mean, I know I’m part of the natural phenomenon process, but don’t you think a weatherperson is a job created by media to give boring people something to talk about on camera”. 

Human Dick Jones doesn’t like clouds, saying “when they finally eff off, it’s a very nice day!” 

Cloud Gary agrees, saying “the feeling is mutual; this is something humans and clouds have in common”, adding that he’s not the biggest fan of humans either. “I always hear they want me to make them a silver lining or something, like I’ve nothing better to do all day than create some sort of positive aspect over their shitful existence”.