I must confess that I have deliberately increased my arachnophobia in the past to test if I actually have a phobia, or if I’m just a little bit cwazy. And the answer is yes, on both accounts. Spider phobia is a specific phobia, and the psychologist’s bible, that be my beloved Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychological Disorders, says that I have a problem, because this is my life:
- I experience a ridiculous amount of fear and anxiety when a spider is in my presence
- Exposure to said spider causes me to hyperventilate and respond anxiously in other fun ways
- I can recognise that the fear is ridiculous because I am human and it is spider
- I generally avoid arachnid type hangouts, and anxiety builds if I have to go into sheds or random cobweb-filled dark alleys
- My fear and anxiety often ruins my day and forces me to keep furniture away from walls and retrieve stuff from the mailbox with barbecue tongs
- I very much dislike those fake spiders that dangle around certain theme park attractions. They are real to me. Universal Studios: I'll send you my psychiatric bills
Shark Phobia
I also have a shark phobia, because I don’t like to do things by half. I think sharks are hauntingly beautiful but belong nowhere near me. On the Universal Studios tour of Amity Island, I was the only person who ducked when a feeble mechanical fish the size of a large carp attempted to scare us. Somebody screamed, but I think she was around three-years-old.
I don’t know the origin of my fear of the shark, but I do know that Jaws probably didn't help matters. Every time I walk along a deserted beach, those two notes pop into my head, and then speed up as I get closer and closer to the shoreline. What can I say, my life is just one long disaster movie. But clearly it is not exciting enough to ignite the box office, a la Titanic.
It's been a long time since I ventured voluntary into a body of water for the purpose of swimming. A few years ago I went waist deep into the ocean at Broulee on the South Coast, but only because I didn't want my fly-away Hawaii cap returning to its homeland. I know, I'm a sook, but guess who will be laughing last when a great white snaps you in half? (Note to Ed.: Why are you so mean-spirited?)
Obviously I wouldn't laugh literally, but it would look kinda funny. I would try to help, but I would likely pass out before I got anywhere near you. I'm sure you'll be fine though. It would just be an alternative take on cloning. If you are a surfer, try to look less like a seal, and more like anything a shark is scared of. Perhaps wearing your great white shark suit might help; I doubt Jaws would eat his family members. Just trying to help. I'm a helper.
Despite the fact the modern backyard swimming pool has no connection whatsoever to the ocean, I refuse to believe that sharks don't swim in them. Because I know that sharks are very intelligent and can track down pools using special sonar navman. Not many people know that, because it doesn't make the evening news. Maybe the media sharks are in on it; it takes one to know one.
This is one weird blog post.
Sayonara, writer's block
I have always loved to write, but my passion and creativity disappeared when I started uni seven years ago. The writing style I conformed to when studying the humanities worked in opposition to my natural style. It was like working within a box; with rules, conventions and referencing, and it felt like the creativity was slowly draining out of me. To this end, I stopped writing for fun, due to lack of time, motivation and an extra strong dose of writers block.
Having completed uni at the end of last year, I started this year with a goal of writing every day and writing consistently. I wanted to form a habit, but my writers block was working against me. Although I always remember how effortless and enjoyable it used to be. So two weeks ago I began a writing challenge that would see me tackle 26 topics over 26 days from the 26 letters of the alphabet. The idea was to choose a topic and write a 500 - 700 word post every day.
And so far, so good. I expected to tire of it around the ‘F’ mark, to stop making an effort around the ‘K’ mark, and to quit at the ‘L’ mark. But this challenge has been fun and satisfying, and not once have I found it tedious or considered not continuing, which has been a surprise to me. And most importantly for me, my writer’s block has vanished (touch wood), leaving a creative flow in its wake. I hope it continues because it’s a big part of who I am.
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