Best Before: May 21, 2011

Apocalypse now, anyone? I bet y’all have forgotten that the world as we know it is supposed to end today. In my haste to spend time in reality, I completely forgot that the world’s selectively perceptive people (see: village idiots) had deemed today to be the world’s use-by-date. Best before May 21. I hope I have a bit of time for one more blogpost before the armageddon hits the fan.

Despite all their constructive version of the facts (see: lies) and alternative wisdom (see: ignorance) that the world is nudging its Judgment Day, no-one in the mainstream (see: sane people) will take these folk seriously. Why is no-one taking them SERIOUSLY? They have a very SERIOUS message! They are screaming out to us: please have me commited. On a more serious note, I truly adore the more challenging, socially misaligned members (see: psychotic lunatics) of society.

Days like this give us a very clear indication of who among us is one of these excpetionally special folk, and it should be a time of rounding them up and introducing them to some type of correctional facility. Apparently the Rapture was predicted to occur in June 1994 as well, but when that didn’t pan out to anything remotely apocalyptic, they re-jigged the world’s use-by-date in a show of responsible citizenry and cooperative lunacy. 

When it turns out that they are differently logical (see: wrong) this time, I guess we’ll just call it a learning experience (see: mistake). The next time anyone gets word that the world is going to end, can you please keep it to yourself, because I am far too busy for such a crisis.