Right now, I am simultaneously too warm AND too cold; but my built-in thermostat has been on the blink for years. Canberra has real actual cold weather at the moment, Sydney. Winter is an impatient mistress, and I do not like cold weather one little bit. Oh, the expletives! But I chose to live in Canberra because the housing market in Antarctica is through the roof. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to order an ice throne from Narnia like Tilda Swinton's.
Do these meteroweatherologist crystal ball readers just pop any old number into their comp-a-tar before they head off for their morning brew - secure in the knowledge they have foiled us yet again? Forecast collusion anybody? And what happens if they accidently put in a figure that is grossly inaccurate? Like 40 degrees instead of -10? These things need to be addressed forthwith. But you know what they say about the internet. Not wrong for long.
I, on the other hand, can forecast the weather like nobody's business. Lets see; tomorrow is going to be friggin' cold. Consider your weather forecasted. The scope of my forecasting brilliance knows no bounds.
Anywho, it's far too cold here, and I would like to send this coldness back to the cold land in which it came from; which is likely to be Antarctica or Iceland or perhaps it popped over from Norway. Is there some sort of cold weather convention going on at EPIC in Canberra? Just another thing no-one told us about. And remember, tomorrow is going to be friggin' COLD. I'm a forecasting fountain - drink from me. Or throw coins of silver and bronze. I also accept Visa and American Express.
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