A Good Bus Service

I hear alot of stories about Canberra’s finest bus service. Most of these stories come from people who have been so damaged and oppressed by our public transport system that the only mindset bearable to them is to look for a silver lining to bus catching; or a gust of diesel smoke, as it were.

That’s why their response to any enquiry regarding the clearly endless merits of riding Action buses is to smile gingerly and tell you, “well, I have a bus pass that swipes”. Oh, splendid. A bus pass that swipes. It’s no wonder the ACT Government gets away with this brilliantly inefficient service.

I will be housesitting in the far North Tuggeranong suburb of Narrabundah in June, which is about ten minutes from my workplace. So I thought I might check out the Action bus system, in a futile attempt to become like one of those bicycle riders, who think they’re making some kind of big statement about the environment simply by riding one. This may hold appeal if I were young, impressionable and hopelessly naïve enough to think that I was going to be the one to change the world. But, alas, I'm not.

How crap can the public system be? Well, let's see, the outlay is about $2.50 less a day that what I currently pay for parking. But the nearest bus stop is a few streets away, and who the hell wants to walk that far in the middle of friggin' winter? And the times are completely inconvenient. So it's expensive, completely inconvenient and not easily accessible. Wow, I’m surprised that more people aren’t getting on ‘dem buses.

It’s like the ACT Government decided to plop everything that is wrong with the city of Canberra in one convenient location, by combining a shelter for the criminally insane, a garbage dump, a slum and a needle disposal facility, and putting the whole experience on wheels, giving it the flashy name of Action.

In fact, Feargal Sharkey, the 80's Irish singer, even penned a little number about Canberra's public transport system in his 1985 smash hit. Here's proof:

A Good Bus Service by Feargal Sharkey

I hear a lot of stories, I spose they could be true
All about Action and how it will probably screw you
High is the risk of missing the bus, the risk of being late for work
And still I have so much to learn

Well I know cause I think about it all the time
I know that good service is hard to find

And a good bus service is hard to find
Strict timetable, the lasting kind
A good Action bus is hard to find
Offers to sit near me; they will be declined

My expectations may be low, I blame it on the truth
Soon enough I’ll learn you’re painfully uncouth
I’ll face it like a fighter then boast how I’ve grown
I’m sure getting to work will be like getting blood out of a stone

And a good bus service is hard to find
Strict timetable, the lasting kind
A good Action bus is hard to find
If you sit near me; I’ll kick your behind

As I reflect on all the Action horror stories
My ideals of public transport were as foolish as they seemed
If I don’t start heading to the bus stop now I’ll be left behind
A good bus service in Canberra; it’s hard to find