Duchess of Frockmania

The British tabloid press, commonly known as Fleet Street, are completely obsessed with the commoner-turned-Duchess of Cambridge's style choices.  I know this because I occasionally scan London's uber-trashbag tabloid, the Daily Mail online. When I say occasionally, I mean probably once or twice a day.  Yes, I know it's wrong, so no need to look at me with your judgy highbrow eyes. 

So last week Kate meandered up to Kensington's Topshop, a British high street retailer with reasonably priced clothing and fashion accessories.  It ain't no Supre, but it definitely ain't no Chanel.  Kate made some fairly nondescript purchases, which made front page news nevertheless.  No, I don't know why that happens either.  I can only imagine that it drives Kate completely batty, like it did Diana.

However, the ground breaking news was when Kate decided, at the last minute, to not to buy a pair of gold earrings worth £8.50. The Daily Mail went slightly bonkers over this insignificant yet valid decision to dump a pair of butt-ugly earrings. Seriously, they seem to think Kate should conduct herself like Marie Antoinette.

The earrings Kate rejected.  Why am I blogging about this? 

Apparently Royalmania means displaying hare-brained behaviour whenever you are in the vague vincinity of even the aura of a member of the British royal youth contingent, that being Wills or Kate.

Following the Royal Wedding extravaganza in April this year, many Poms remain ensnared in the grip of Royalmania. Mere glimpses of the Duchess shopping in well-to-do retail outlets triggers a flurry of posh sales girls to denigrate themselves by snitching to the trashy tabloids with tales of the royal bargain hunter's chic purchases. They excitedly blab about the credit card Kate used, temporarily disregarding the first rule of posh shop girls; to act like a pretentious git at all times.

And when Kate pops on her new frock for one of the many soirees that she attends, fashion websites crash under the sheer burden of hundreds of unremarkable British girls making a futile attempt to emulate their future Queen, completely indifferent to the miniscule likelihood of them ever nabbing a prince.

As a monarchist, I have given my approval to the merger of WillKat, which is, I have no doubt, of little interest to our Queen Lizzy.  While Kate really has only one legitimate function, which is to produce an heir, I reckon she is an invaluable addition to the royal family in their ongoing endeavour to modernise the 'firm', and to try and get the British populace, and indeed all of their realms, onside in accepting that the monarchy are a still valid and necessary institution.  I just don't care to know what she wears everyday.