Eat My Beach Shorts

Deciding what to pack for an overseas trip can be a right nightmare. Contrary to popular belief, being in a land far, far away doesn’t give you licence to wear nothing.  I imagine such impertinence is fine in places like the Netherlands, but the United States has standards, people.  I know, it surprised me too. 

The people who don’t have any trouble packing stuff are those annoying, anal souls who bore you to death with an itemised itinerary of their every toilet break on their vacay and a list of all the things wrong with their hotel room, like anyone cares.  But me, I say packing up your clothes in your old kit bag is trouble, trouble, trouble, and definitely doesn't make me smile, smile, smile.

I like to think that when I travel I will miraculously evolve into a person who suddenly dresses all stylish and hipster, thus I pack so-on-trend clothes that I have previously bought for some inexplicable reason but have never worn, usually because they have proved to be completely useless when it comes to walking about, highly uncomfortable, or just not moi.

This time I'm laying down the law - throwing down the gauntlet - when I pack my bags. Challenge accepted; but possibly already failed. The clothes I never throw on are staying at home in the trailer park, while the garments I wear and worship are travelling with me/on me to America, land of the supersized brave and free.

On the whole, I am all for stereotyping and labeling stuff. Stereotyping may hurt people's ideal world views at times, but gosh darn it, they generally always have an element of truth to them and make identification easier and more convenient for everyone else. Viva la pigeonholing. Having said that, I really don't care for the labeling going on in the fashion industry.

I bought some shorts today that are entirely suitable for hanging around Waikiki beach. Yes they are. But the fashion industry has labelled them mix and match sleep wear separates, like I’m supposed to sleep in them or something.

So now the self-determination of my little shorts is tarnished, through the attachment of one little label. Which I cut off. No-one, but no-one, will take away my shorts liberty and freedom. I have no intention of sleeping in them, but every intention of wearing them on the beach. Take that, fashion industry biatches.