Unhappily Ever Colder and Colder

In a mere few weeks I will blow this popsicle stand and go somewhere considerably warmer, and far more humider.  Canberra is a bit popsiclised at the moment, thanks to that dreary meh season that it likes to melodramatically thrust upon its inhabitants.  A+, Canberra, for your winter skills this season.  You've been practicing over summer, haven't you?

I'm soon to travel to Florida's Disney World, where the men are mice, and the mice are human sized men.  Or something.  It's a wonderful world of make believe, where ridonkulous, impractical fairy tale fantasies are shoved into the minds and down the throats of innocent children, who are oblivious to the fact that they will never, ever be a fairy princess when they grow up.  Princess Fiona maybe.

Unless of course their mother stalks a prince throughout their offspring's teen years and then surreptitiously enrols them in the same university class so the young lass can work her magical social climbing powers of persuasion on the young royal. And then she will be given a fancy schmancy title and live happily ever after with her prince at Kensington Palace and wear Princess Diana's ring until the day she dies. The end.

So, back to me. I'm considering applying for climate asylum, putting in a claim to be sent to warmer climes because, you know,  I'm fucking cold and miserable here.  People from 'stan countries definitely don't know what it's like to freeze their grandes balles off.

Don't get all politically correct and rant about my rudeness and insensitivity in comparing my situation to that of a political refugee. Because only the nations that offer cradle to grave welfare are acceptable to them.

There are a bunch of other countries that they could stop at on the way here.  But, yes, Australia is better than them all.  Not different; better.  Just ask the refugees, because they all want to live in Australia.

I too have a lengthy list of nation states where I don't want to go, which also starts and finishes with every muslim country in the entire universe, due to the political heat and also the actual heat.  No-one in their right mind wants to live in Middle Earth, which is why they all flee to the west.  Middle Earth, Middle East, same thing.

So it seems to me that instead of intervening in Middle Earth affairs, like the west has be doing for ever, we should just raze the darn place, build a new Middle Earth, call it something a bit cooler, like the United States of America No. 2, democratise the shit out of it, build a couple of McDonalds, and then the crisis would be resolved. 

The side effects of this plan are a land of spoilt Kardashianesque morons, but at least no-one would blow your hair extensions off when you walked down the street. On a side note, why and how does Kim Kardashian have 15 million twits following her on social media? I cannot even comprehend how this has happened.  I guess she is quite excellent at giving off the allure of being relevant.  Kudos.