Monday. You suck.

How awesome is Monday, people?  If nothing else, it's one in fifty-two opportunities you are given every year to wake up and question what the hell you are doing with your life.  And that's just before breakfast; after that you get to go to work!!

What's the difference between a goat and a toaster?  How the fuck would I know.  But I do know that they probably both hate Mondays.  Apart from being a terribly bad non-joke, it is also a leading example of the effect Monday has on my great wit and intelligence.

Monday's child is not fair of face; she's totes cranky because it's Monday.  And you know the saying, "Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays?'  Please don't say this to me ever.  Or I will put out your fingernails. 

Mega-famous feline Garfield hates Mondays, and he's one hell of a smart cat.  Sort of.  Did you know that Monday is the most popular day of the week to commit suicide and call in sick and overeat cake? There you go.  Proof that Mondays are stupid.  I made the cake bit up, but it's probably true.

While my lowly serotonin levels ensure that I'm never really happy or excited about anything, Mondays have a special effect on my mood as an added bonus.  So, knowing this about myself, I have decided that M-day will be my go hard day at the gym, as much as I ever go hard at the gym. 

It's also a useful way of sticking it to the most ruthless day of the week, but I think it punishes me more than it punishes, er, Monday, because Monday is part of a vicious cycle that doesn't care what I do.  Round and round and round - it's mean spirited like that.

So today I realised that my M-day gym workout will have to be later in the evening because every man and his dumbells like to go to the gym straight after work, and that doesn't work for me because I can't get near the equipment and, more importantly, I don't particularly like people, especially when they group.  When did exercise become so popular anyway?

But I'm happy, because my dumbell boredom has recently been sated with a spanking newish program, devised by the same cute trainer who did my last one. *sigh*  Maybe I should get a new program every Monday.