The Red Queen's new Slipper

Once upon a time there was a Speaker of the House of Reps in Canberra called Peter Slipper.  The Slipper spent years on the right foot, but as a rather overstuffed novelty version of house shoes that annoys the crap out of anyone who wears them, he was never the right fit in a party full of sturdy birkenstocks and scuffy, old but reliable mocassins, and he was rather softer and more lightweight compared to the other types in the Howard Collection.

Alas, one fateful day, Slipper got booted out of the car window by the other right footers, the Liberal Nationals, which can explain at least one of the those random shoes you see on the side of the road.  The Nats dumped their Slipper due to his alleged overuse of parliamentary entitlements and his crankypants attacks on the party, so it was a fairly mutual clothing disposal.  

The lone Slipper spent a few years as an independent piece of footwear, which meant he served no useful purpose and spent his time reading important parliamentary papers like House and Garden, Harper's Bazaar and Vogue, occasionally crossing the floor, and just generally scuffing up the place as best he could.  Alas, no-one likes an odd shoe, so he mostly stayed in the cupboard until someone was desperate enough to drag him out of there.  

Finally, one day this year, the Red Queen looked to the Slipper as a means of support for her burgeoning foot problems.  She already had a bunch of silly, vibrant and colourful scuffs in the Gillard Collection, but most had no sole and were inflexible as shit.  She also had an assortment of ugg boots, but they were all sheepish on the inside and god knows what on the outside.  Fortunately for the Red Queen, the Slipper had no issue walking across the floor, and ended up on her left foot.

As luck would have it, the Red Queen had no problem airing her slippers in public. While showing off the Slipper may be seen as an act of passive aggression or even rebellion against the electorate who stupidly voted her into power, it may also be a statement that the wearer holds no interest in any person who disapproves of anything she does while in power.

The newest addition to the Red Queen's Collection, the Slipper, is just as thick as the other wannabe socks, and fortunately he has a set of rubber grips along his soles which should provide some traction.  He's gonna need it.

Although, buyer beware for the Red Queen too, as the Slipper's renown lack of support can result in the foot rolling inward - occasionally crossing over to the other side - with can result in serious health problems and perhaps motions of lost confidence in the Gillard Collection.


It's quite clear that I have nothing to blog about anymore.